3 Boys and a Mom - Diary of a Tagteam

Well I am not feeling that much better today - a bit calmer yes but not much better.... I am trying to hold things together though.... Mom is leaving by the 18th - not as quickly as I would like but she has no $$ right now and needs to make arrangements and I just can't be cold hearted and kick her to the curb... I haven't talked to E since Sunday morning and I am trying to be ok.... Lonely and scared and heartbroken but ok - I was stupid enough to let him back into my heart and he managed to crush it and break it all over again... My own stupid fault I know and I am strong enough to get thru this but it's gonna be tough - I tend to live more by emotion then logic which is often my downfall... The boys have been wonderful though - Deven is really doing well overall and he's been sooo cuddly and affectionate lately that it really lifts my spirits... Dilen is moody but we have an appt w/the doc on Friday.... I still could use some vibes to help me heal and remain calm so keep on sending them.... Not too much else going on - I register Dilen for Kindi tomorrow and they are enjoying the last week of summer camp..... Til next time...

Well my life is going to hell in a handbasket this week... E and I have been arguing off and on and it's really starting to stress me out big time - didn't sleep well/much at all on Friday night... Then I talk to mom this morning on the phone after arguing w/E and she had no real plans of moving out... WTF??? I can't deal w/the stress at all... It's starting to affect me - some here at work as I can't concentrate and emotionally I am a mess - I am on the verge of tears constantly this weekend and tired... I really need to sit and pray for some calm... Everyone please send me some calming, things will get better and work out vibes as I DESPARATELY need them... Til next time...

Work is crazy but the new girl started and I LOVE HER!!! She's really good and has a great personality so she's great to work with... We have been busy but I am enjoying my days... And this Sat I will be off for the first time in forever!! We are having a yard sale here and I have to get things ready to sell... I register the boys for school and after school next week - *sigh* I am a little sad about that - my baby is going to Kindi!!! And I am going to put Deven in the after school program on base so he will be thrilled to do that... Now to really juggle and stick to the budget... It's gonna be a little tight but we will be good... And I can't wait to get us all back on a normal schedule... Not too much else going on around here that isn't out of the ordinary... Til next time...

Mom and I had a MAJOR blow up yesterday regarding how I want my children raised and treated and how she treated/raised me... I am sure I said some things I should have bit my tongue on but she pushed me over the edge last night and herself crossed a line from which there is only one way back from and it will be a LONG LONG LONG road... I am sorry to see my relationship w/my mother all but come to an end in such a way but perhaps I needed to make a break of some sort - if not for my own good but hers as well...

Sooooo mom will be moving on/out very shortly and I think we are all breathing a bit easier today... I spoke w/E this morning about school schedules and after arrangements and he's gonna help me out w/the boys by picking Dilen up from Kindi and meeting Deven at bus 4 days a/week... And I will get the house back to myself... It will be extra work to keep up and such but it will be a calmer world for us all....

Work is actually going slow today which is a surprise but we all know it's very short lived so I am gonna enjoy it while I can... I need to run - finish up a few things... Til next time...

Well I changed my template and I fixed it up a bit.... Hope it looks ok.. not quite what I wanted but it looks ok.... Work is busy, there is some turmoil here but it's not rolling on me so I can tolerate it.. Of course I have alot going on w/me too at home - so many things to ponder and of course there is the prep of getting ready to start the boys in school... Well it's time for me to get some work done... Til next time....

ARRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG just to add to the thrill of the day my blog template is acting up!!! WTF?????? UGH!!!!

Well I have to say I never realized just how BUSY summer is w/kids... I feel like all we do is run run run - I thought summer was for relaxing and vacationing??? God I can't wait for school to start so that we will have some sort of set schedule!! Plus the other day gal starts Monday so I will have Fri AND Sat off starting the 3rd and I am looking forward to a more steady, set schedule for all of us...

The boys are doing WONDERFUL - growing so quickly though... Everyday they both amaze me with their knowledge and wise wisdom beyond their years - Only another parent can understand the pure joy of being a parent, ya know?? Deven starts 2nd grade on the 8th and Dilen's Kindi will start on the 7th - I need to get over there and register him on Monday... Tues he had his early 5 yr check up - he's 47 lbs and 43 inches... He got 2 shots and is presently holding a major grudge over them! *L* I have been sworn to promise that next time they say he needs shots I am to tell them NO! *L* We have been spending time at Six Flags waterpark and the boys have been spending extra time w/Daddy so we have all been enjoying the summer...

Work is busy busy and no end in sight for atleast the next 3 wks but busy keeps me out of trouble...

There are lots of changes going on right now - the future offers so many possibilities and I am getting excited but more on that later - for now I need to go finish up some stuff and grab a bite to eat.... Til next time....

Well it's been a little bit since I updated - I have been busy and experiencing a little turmoil in my life - nothing new of course as my life just CAN"T be quiet and simple can it??? But anyway... The boys are doing well - Dilen will be going to private Kindi next month and I will play by ear whether he goes to 1st grade or repeats kindi next year... I am not going to make any decisions on that til the end of the school year but as he's more then ready now I am going to send him to Kindi now.... Deven is doing well and thriving although he is totally bushed by the end of the week...

The end of July/beginning of August is a very bittersweet time for me... Today is my birthday - I am 21 w/14 yrs of experience... Thank you for the well wishes! *grin* It is also the 2nd anniversary of my due date - today my youngest would have been one... There is still an ache and void in my heart that while is duller today then last year still affects me deeply... I have a hard time being cheerful and upbeat w/expecting friends - not to say I don't wish them all the joy and happiness they deserve I just have trouble expressing it w/o a tinge of grief overcoming me... Also presently 2 dear ladies I know are experiencing similar pain and loss and for them I wish to do nothing short of grabbing them and hugging them tight so that we might release some of the pain together (if either of you is reading this {{HUGS}} let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do for you)....

Relationshipwise I am just not in a stable place but I am not bothered by that, when the time is right and my heart is ready it will happen - and yet..... ANYWHO... I must go finish up my work as I am leaving early to take the boys to Hurricane Harbor and then continue on w/the motto of the day (which started yesterday) "Drink Heavily" - afterall it IS my birthday!!! Sooo cocktails anyone??? Til next time...